He said I was a strong lady. Why? Was it because I didn't cry or that I tried to make a light-hearted comment upon receiving the news? Was it because I didn't fall to pieces upon hearing the word 'cancer'? Or maybe it was because I've been through this surgery before, so I sort of know what to expect. Perhaps it was part of his regular spiel he gives to all his patients with the threat of thyroid cancer-- a mind game of positive thinking to make them think they are strong. However, upon hearing the news, they feel like they've been playing a game of tag and with one solid blow to the back, they are stunned to realize they've been tagged 'it'. Who knows?
As for me, this was exactly what I had hoped not to hear, but now that it's staring me in the face, I must rethink my strategy in this game called life. I was told this was a 'good cancer' (like any cancer is good!), meaning, it's treatable through surgery. Fair enough. I will need to step up my game in other areas to ensure my health-- take thyroid medication, calcium supplements, be on a special diet, and exercise to name a few. Upon reflection, I'm already doing most of these requirements, so stepping it up won't be such a shock. I am fortunate. It could have been much worse.
In any situation, we can rise to the challenge or let it consume us. We choose to be strong. Now this doesn't mean we are fearless, but despite our fear, we find the courage to stand and fight as we come face to face with our own personal Goliaths.
I think of David-- a small wisp of a kid who saw these big, buff, armored men - strong men, he thought - cowering in the face of fear, that is this armored, giant of a man, Goliath. None of these 'strong men' would stand and fight, yet knowing the odds were against him, David did. David stood his ground, weak kneed and wobbly and fought with all he had, a slingshot and a shepherd's mentality. He knew just as he looked after his father's sheep, his Heavenly Father, his Shepherd, was looking after him, protecting him, and would give him the strength to defeat fear, whether in life or in death. Risking it all, he chose to stand anyway just as himself, not with the strength of armor, but with strength of heart and faith in his Shepherd--- and he won. He defeated Goliath.
God and I have had many adventures together—some that were amazing and others I wouldn't have chosen for myself and frankly, would not want to experience again! Regardless, my relationship with God has flourished because of them. As I embark on another adventure, I know I'm not alone. My God is bigger than the threat of thyroid cancer and all the risks associated with it and the dreams that hang on its crux.
Am I strong? Well, I choose to be. I have surrendered my life to my Shepherd so I will do my best honor Him in all I do, even if it is weak-kneed and wobbly.
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
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